Dave, you're still not getting it

In what I think is a pretty "interesting" turn of events, Dave Winer is now accusing those who criticised his description of Blogher of "gender bashing"him:

Liz, it's time to bend over backwards to create safety for men to speak on this subject. Many of your colleagues are already doing this. There are still a few standouts, and you are one of them. No more gender-bashing, lecturing and name-calling, and no more tolerance for that. I will consider what you have said. Now it would be great if you would do the same.

It's worth reminding ourselves about how Dave described BlogHer:

They are beautiful babes, but not like like booth bimbos, more like Thelma and Louise. So you got a great ratio, and they’re smart and driven, but that’s not all — they’re also bloggers! Which means I don’t have to explain what blogging is.

Dave, choosing to concentrate on how the women look at a technology conference is a form of gender bashing. It's saying "the most important thing about a woman is her appearance, no matter what the context".

"Respectful discourse on gender", something that you request, doesn't start with labelling women according to their appearance.

Comments

[Dave Winer]

You're the one who doesn't get it.

Do you have any women friends? You might try asking them to read the stuff written by women who were at BlogHer (esp the stuff written by Maryam and Ponzi) and then my various pieces (not just the paragraph you like so much!) and then ask them who's right, you or the rest of us.

You're a young man with a lot to learn about women. Almost without exception, they like to be told when they're making a good impression, and appearance is indeed part of that, an important part. As a man I appreciate women, not just for their intellect, but also for their beauty and spirit and the ways they are different from us.

Someday, my young friend, you'll understand, and instead of being bitter and vengeful, you'll be happy to be alive, because you can't really enjoy life until you learn to appreciate beauty.

Bon appetit!

[Miss K]

Blimey!

[john C. Welch]

So here's what I've learned in life, in my almost 40 years on this planet:

If you start a sentence with "Do you have any woman friends", then chances are, you don't have a clue about them. (Or a lot of things. Awkward sentence structure much?) If you have to list why you like women, then you're insecure about your relationships with them. (Or lack thereof).

Finally, when you close by accusing someone of being "bitter and vengeful" and not following your path to enlightenment, then the cluelessness is complete.

All of it adds up to a whooooole lotta defensiveness Dave.

[John C. Welch]

One more thing...I've never felt like I was "prevented" from speaking out about gender inequalities on either side. Maybe because I'm not a sexist tool when I do it, but either way, I've never needed someone's "permission" or a "safe place". Yeesh.